How are things?

Here's my Charlie Girl... She is sitting and having her O.T. She is just the most precious little girl... EVER! I lover her with all of my heart that I cannot bear to imagine my world without her. She can never be replaced. She will never be forgotten. And I will never forgive myself if I had something to do with the reason she is the way she is...

I thought I took such good care of myself. I guess I should have known that my world would crumble when it should have been the happiest time in my and my husbands life. Soon to be ex. That's a whole other story...

To be Continued...

It's been a while...........

It's been a while since I have been on this site... Things have been absolutely crazy with me and my husband and daughter...

Yes, she is still here... As beautiful as ever...

She will be 3 years old in March and I am counting my blessings everyday

'that she's with us... Christmas is always a tough time for us...

Not knowing if this will be the last time we wrap a gift for her...

The last time we play out that she is opening her gifts

when in fact, it's just us making a voice as if it were her...

Crying, for me, has become a common occurance...

One cannot help but feel for us and our little girl...

And love her so...

Charlie Girl Misses her Daddy...

This is what Charlie Girl looks like when she's calling (or yelling for that matter!) for her daddy! Hope he comes home soon! Yes, this is an old photo of her but damn, is she cute or what??

I never got the call...

Well, I thought I had a real shot at getting this role...

I thought that they thought I had talent...

I thought that they could look past my weight...

But I guess that's not the case... And it never will be...

I am starting to wonder if I should just abandon my dream of being on stage. I know that I have a little talent, but unless someone gives me a chance to bring that talent to the stage, I won't ever get to share it with anyone else. My mom is optimistic in thinking that they could still call me today but I am sure that the part had been cast almost immediately. Again, the thin girl wins! That's assuming that the girl that was singing for the same role is the only one they needed to hear, other than me.

I am very bummed and quite down on myself. Thankfully my family supports me but if I don't believe in myself, then what's the use of trying in the first place, right? But I did walk into the auditions (and callbacks) with some confidence. As if to say "I will give you everything I have and you won't regret it!"

I am sure the play will be a great, in fact, I hope it is. It is a FANTASTIC play and the music is in my heart and it Always will be.

Too bad I will not get to convey the passion and love I have for The Who's Tommy to the many audiences that would be in attendance...

I was mostly looking forward to having my Charlie Girl attend one of the shows with Jimmy. Sitting in the front row and watching (listening) to something mommy loves to do... But that is just a dream I guess.

...At least I was happy for a little while...

To be continued...

"TOMMY" Called Me Back...OMG!!!

I actually received a callback from the theatre company doing Tommy... He said I would be reading for the part that I wanted, Mrs. Walker!!! I am SO excited and was caught VERY off guard by his phone call... Since I thought that I would not truly be considered for the role! I can't believe that they actually liked me enough to call me back!!!

I hope this happens for me! I know it sounds selfish but I could really use some theatre in my life right now! I haven't done anything on stage in a long time...

To be continued...

A Positive Visit to Childrens Hospital Boston

Well, Charlie Girl and Jimmy are home and Rocco and I are thrilled to have them back!!! I flooded her with kisses, after she woke up of course. They stayed for only 3 days, and luckily they had a private room so they didn't have to worry about a roommate keeping either of them awake. From what Jimmy told me, everything went fairly smoothly and without complications. We will be setting up a follow-up appointment to get the full narrative of the EEG. I felt so empty without them both! Now that Charlie Girl is on the PediaSure, she's going to gain some weight, we hope. She is now FINALLY over 20.4 Pounds! I am so happy for her!

Here is a photo that Jimmy took with his phone while they were still in the hospital. His caption to go with the photo was "I Miss My Mommy!"

How sweet is that face?!?!

She's My AnGeL!

To be continued...

Paging "NEUROLOGY" to Floor 9 (North)

Today, Charlie is going for her Electroencephalograms (EEG or Brain Wave Tests). This will take place over the next 24 to 48 hours. If you take a look at the link above, this will bring you to the Children's Hospital Boston website where it explains what this test is all about. In abbreviated terms, this test will monitor her seizures. They adhere little metal conductors to her head and from there, the parent present presses a button each time he or she recognizes a seizure. This is a long but necessary procedure. While she is there, I set up to have the GI-Team come by and check on her tube that they recently changed. Unfortunately, in speaking with Dr. Fishman, I fear that she will need to have the 'stomach twisting' procedure done since she still shows signs of reflux. But, one step at a time!

This time, Jimmy has gone with his baby girl. I am at work. I am handling this okay for now but when I get home to our puppy Rocco and no Charlie Girl, it might be a different story! Since Jimmy is going to CA in June, I need to save my time so that I can take time off to care for Charlie Girl. I am scared about taking care of her by myself for that long but I am sure I can do it!

Some people have referred to me as "Super Mom", but I don't see myself as that. I am just a mom caring for her daughter. As I will continue to do until she decides otherwise...

To be continued...