Why Us?
Today, a co-worker brought in his beautiful little baby girl. These days are very tough for me to get through. My head is happy that they are all healthy and happy (and tired of course) but deep down inside, my heart is breaking... This is not the first time this has happened either. There have been many people that I work with that have had their babies after Charlie was born. Some of them complain. I listen. Like a friend. But I try not to let on that I could only wish to have such things to complain or worry about. Some people do not approach me with such silly comments like "Oh, I just couldn't keep up with the little one because they just wanted to run, run and run". Others say "My son was talking back to me"... I wish... The thing that I have that others don't (besides the most beautiful little girl in the whole Universe) is my 2 year old loves to CUDDLE! What other 2 year olds do you know that still enjoy doing that??
I cannot help but ask "Why?" Again, what made my husband and I so special that we would be entrusted to take care of such a delicate little AnGeL? Are we worthy? Am I worthy?
And if I am, will I ever feel that way about myself? I highly doubt it...
To be continued...
posted by Meri (aka Ama) @ 8:21 PM
3 Comments:
At 7:26 PM,
Auntie X said…
{{{{{HUG}}}}}
I'm so sorry this is difficult for you. But I know what you mean. I feel that way too when a particular person just keeps going on and on about how much of a genius her son is.
But these are people who can't imagine what it's like to be in your shoes, and they can't think beyond themselves, probably because they've never had to. These are people who will make any excuse to complain about any little thing, and you probably feel guilty or shameful about bringing up your own problems, and even if you did there are always the ones who won't get it, who will keep asking if she's getting any better, expecting a miracle, or that you somehow overstated the severity of the situation, and of course you didn't. In a lot of ways you understated it by oversimplifying, because it's your personal situation to deal with and you don't want to burden them, or yourself for that matter by having to explain the entire thing over and over to these people who just don't get it.
1. You did nothing to deserve this.
2. Please don't say negative things about yourself. It only reinforces the negative feelings. Start saying something positive about yourself everyday. You're a wonderful mom, you have a beautiful singing voice, and you have many talents.
3. I'm here for you :)
Oh and post some cute pictures already! ;-)
At 1:45 AM,
Cat said…
I'm here for you too even if I'm miles away. I am always thinking of you, Charlie, and Jimmy. You are the type of parents I want to be just like. You have everything the perfect mom would have. Patience, love, intelligence, knowledge, ability, understanding, and much more. Charlie would not be where she is today if she didn't have you.
At 10:19 AM,
Meri (aka Ama) said…
Thank you both so much for your unconditional love! It means so much to me that you both care and are willing to listen to me go on and on. Life is good when Charlie is in my arms!!!
Post a Comment
<< Home